A Room with a Fan

Moving the large, sky blue, standing fan from the front room to the bedroom, I settled in to rest. The adrenaline was wearing off and the jet lag setting in. I grabbed a guidebook from my bag and settled in to read, for the umpteenth time, about cultural do’s and don’ts. 

 I took my time arranging the pillow for optimal comfort. The warm air from the fan slowly dried the water droplets on my bare legs and I felt almost cool, such a welcome respite. I opened my book and laughed as the air from the fan blew it closed. Opening it again, I tried to position myself as a buffer against the breeze, which worked for a moment but then I had to brush my tickling hair out of my face and as soon as I let go of the book the pages fluttered in the breeze and I lost my place again. I was unwilling to turn the fan to a lower setting, unwilling to let go of the relative level of comfort I had achieved, so I put the book down and tried to drift off.

I love you so much I hate you.

                                     

The fan was still blowing my hair all over my face making me itchy and annoyed. I tried to pull my hair back into an impenetrable pony tail but small strands were constantly breaking free and dancing around and in my nostrils. In exasperation, I buried my face in my pillow. Not a good idea. I got hit with such a strong waft of mildew and mold that I threw up a little in my mouth. Gagging, I tossed the pillow across the room knocking over my sky blue fan which crashed with such a loud bang that I went from the prone position to standing, purely on defensive instinct. The face of the fan had dropped off and one of the blades was broken and was now a jagged weapon, still rotating on the highest setting. The jagged, screeching fan was positioned between me and the wall socket. I stood on the bed preparing myself to jump over the treacherous beast that I had just been looking upon as a savior. With a shout I launched myself off the bed, slipped on the pillow I had just thrown and slammed straight into the door frame.

My collision with the door frame jammed my index finger, which was already turning a murky shade of green, but I managed to unplug the fan and saved my flesh from being chopped up into tiny bits. Dammit. I was sweating again from all the excitement and exertion. I angrily grabbed the pillow, which I justifiably blamed for this whole mess, and examined it for the source of that rancid stench.

 As soon as I took off the pillow case, the source of the stench became clear. The pillow was no longer white but a soft shade of yellow that seemed to blend into a deeper brown stain at certain points. I could almost see the outline of the stranger’s face that had sweated and drooled its way into being permanently indented on my pillow. Dotted amongst the outline of the face of my unknown guest was undeniable mold. It ranged from green to black and from flat to fuzzy. My pillow was alive.

I suppose at most times in my life, encountering a pillow that had a life of its own would be a laughing matter; something to joke about with friends over beers that night. Today it didn’t seem so funny. I was hideously jet lagged, I could feel the lack of sleep pooling in dark clouds under my eyes, my baby toe still throbbed a little from the renegade shampoo bottle, and now my index finger was turning green. I felt like I had already failed in my new ‘confident adventure girl’ persona and my only task so far had been to unpack my bags.

 Recalling the mangy dog with the appetite for plastic I decided that a trip to the blue trash barrels would be too difficult a task, so I merely placed the pillow by the door with the intention of throwing it out later, when I had regained my confidence. I replaced the face of the fan but because of the broken blade it made a hideous jet engine noise when I turned it on. Even at the lowest speed it sounded like there was a Boeing 747 in the room. I made a makeshift pillow out of my hooded sweater and settled down for a nap. I decided to quit fighting the heat and instead treat it as a large blanket helping lull me to sleep.

I  kicked this guy out of bed.